Valentine’s day can be a tough holiday when you’re single. It feels like the entirety of popular culture is designed to make you feel like you are somehow failing by not being in a relationship. Granted, thanks to the wonders of social media you can feel that way every day if most of your friends are in a relationship, but it’s only amplified on February 14th. So, it’s always good to have a plan for the day. Sometime to distract yourself from the constant barrage of “you need to be in a relationship to be happy, sad sack!”
I don’t have a good answer for you. What I do have, in spades, are terrible answers.
Text your Ex
Let’s start with the obvious one. You’re lonely, you’re feeling down, what better time to text your ex and let them know how much you miss them? Sure, you two probably broke up for a reason, but the power of love makes things better. The good news is, this is going to go one of two ways, both of which are guaranteed to make you feel miserable long after Valentine’s day.
For the first scenario, your Ex shoots you down. You get the realization that not only are you sad and alone on a day dedicated to love, but you are so pathetic someone who onced loved you no longer does. Now, you’re not actually pathetic, but it’s sure going to make you feel that way. That misery should last for at least a couple more weeks after the holiday!
That, by the way, is the good option. In the second scenario, your ex reciprocates. You two end up having an ill advised Valentine’s hookup. And then…dawn breaks. It’s no longer Valentine’s day. Your Ex is still there. Now what? Obviously, you end up getting back into a relationship with them, because you’re already making bad decisions so might as well double down! Now you’re back with someone where it didn’t work out before, hoping this time is going to be different.
Spoiler – it won’t.
This is going to make you miserable for months. I’ve seen this go on for years. And then, when they or you realize it won’t work again, you get the heartbreak of losing them all over again.
Go on Online Dating Sites
You know when’s the best time to try to start a relationship? When you’re feeling sad and lonely. There’s absolutely nothing that could possibly go wrong with your decision making process during this. You definitely won’t be blinded to obvious red flags. Best of all, on Valentine’s day, everyone else is looking is going to be sad and lonely as well!
The best relationships are born out of shared interests. “I don’t want to be alone anymore” is definitely a shared interest. Therefore, relationships born out of Valentine’s desperation have to be stable and healthy relationships, right? There is absolutely no risk that a relationship founded on the very idea of clinging to the first person to reciprocate your advances or visa-versa.
Yeah, no, you’re in for codepency with that right there. Don’t do that.
Get Drunk and/or High
You know what’s even better than the rush of chemicals you get when you spend time with that special someone, the wave of endorphins from curling up with someone you care deeply about? Getting absolutely blasted to the point where you don’t feel feelings anymore. Chemically induced numbness is a thousand times better than doing something crazy, like confronting why you feel so sad and trying to find a healthy way of dealing with it. Nope, instead get lit. Drink and smoke and toke until you’re barely able to stand up. Hell, wait till you are on the floor.
Alcohol is a depressant. That means it goes wonderfully with depression! It absolutely will not amplify the bad feelings that drove you to drink in the first place. When you’re puking up your guts, you’ll also be throwing up all the bad feelings and be left feeling healthy and normal!
Marijuana, on the other hand, has more of a numbing effect on negative emotions. And positive ones. That might sound like it would be better than alcohol, and I suppose that is true. It’s also can cause anxiety, and if you’re already anxious about being alone, there’s definitely no risk of it amplifying that anxiety. And, if it does help with the negative feelings, you’ll never have to worry that it will cause you to turn to it again and again whenever you are feeling bad. It might not be chemically addictive, so you never have to worry about becoming psychologically addictive!
Yeah, no. If you do imbibe, do so in moderation. This is one of the days you absolutely should face with a clear head.
Write a snarky blog post that ends up having real advice
You know, this post was going to be a pure humor post, but I keep finding myself unable to snark about it properly. Valentine’s Day is really rough when you’re not in a relationship but you want to be, and if you already have depression or anxiety it’s a day that’s basically custom built to amplify those feelings.
But Valentine’s Day is about love. My friend Amanda wrote a great post last year about how to celebrate Valentine’s Day and love beyond just the romantic love – but there’s another kind of love you can celebrate. Self-love. No, get your head out of the gutter, I don’t mean that.
Take the day to be good to yourself. Have your favorite food. Watch your favorite show or read a book your’re excited about or play a video game you enjoy. Play with your pets. (One of my original sarcastic comments was going to be adopt a pet, but don’t do that on Valentines day unless you were already going to do it and had planned appropriately.) Work on something you’re passionate about. Work out, if you’re into that stuff. Do things that make you happy, because you deserve to be happy with who you are regardless of if you’re in a relationship or not. So let yourself be happy. And…let the couples have this day. Don’t let your worst feelings spill out on the couples around you. They aren’t the reason you’re having a rough day, and even if they were, if you feel the negative feelings you’ll only make yourself feel worse. Focus instead on what is good in your life.
Be good to yourself this 14th. No matter what, you deserve to be happy.
Want something to occupy your mind on Valentines Day? Try a free book. It can be read quickly.